Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Ways to Die in Your Home-- The Musical

Rules:
  • must be a song title (or band name, or album name); may include surrounding lyrics
  • must be a way to die -in your home- (So "in the jungle / the mighty jungle / the lion sleeps tonight" does't count)
  • must be a primary, not secondary, cause of death (so no "slipped while putting on Blue Suede Shoes"-- rule can be broken if justification is funny enough).
Ways to Die in Your Home, General
  1. Zombie
  2. (if diabetic) Pour some sugar on me
  3. Take my breath away
  4. Maneater
  5. (bitten by) Karma chameleon
  6. You dropped a bomb on me
  7. I'm too sexy (for my pulse)
  8. Be still my beating heart
  9. Winona's Big Brown Beaver
  10. She's a maniac!
  11. Smoke gets in your eyes
  12. Jump
  13. Love bites
  14. Tainted love ("if only there was a song called 'tainted meat'")
  15. Hunka hunka burnin' love
  16. Sabotage
  17. Barracuda
  18. Magic Man
  19. That old black magic
  20. Love will tear us apart (again)
  21. I've got my love to keep me warm (ineffective!)
  22. Worldwide suicide
  23. The macarena
  24. The... Larch
  25. Rock lobster
  26. The boxer (picture "Pulp Fiction")
  27. Peace train
  28. Lightning striking again
  29. Criminal (Fiona Apple)
  30. Killing me softly with his song
  31. Crash (Dave Matthews)
  32. Walking on broken glass
  33. Fast car
  34. That girl is poison
  35. Cats in the cradle (they kill babies)
  36. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
  37. Pachebel's Canon
  38. Rock me (as in Biblical stoning; let he who has no sin cast the first power chord)
  39. Rock me, Amadeus
  40. Go, Go Godzilla
Natural Disaster / Plague
  1. Great Balls of Fire
  2. Millions of peaches
  3. Ice, Ice, baby.
  4. The tide is high
  5. Chariots of fire
  6. Heat Wave
  7. Rapture
Illnesses
  1. He gives me fever
  2. Cat scratch fever
  3. Saturday Nigh Fever
  4. Heart of glass
  5. Achey breaky heart
  6. Lump (think: oncology)
  7. Groove is in the heart (how tragic... they say it's hereditary)
AAAAIIIiiiieeeeeee
  1. Walking on sunshine
  2. Walking on a thin line
  3. Hangin' 'round
  4. He ain't heavy, he's my brother "Oh, wait-- he IS heavy!"(AAAAIIIiiiieeeeeee tumble tumble tumble CRUNCH)
"Clue" Version
  1. Sledgehammer
  2. Brass Monkey
  3. Monkey Wrench
  4. She bop
Death by Trogdor
  1. Burning down the house
  2. Beds are burning
  3. Disco inferno
  4. Burnin' for you
  5. She's on fire, my baby's on fire
  6. Doctor, Doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning?
Darwin Awards
  1. Why don't we do it in the road
  2. All she wants to do is dance (and doesn't eat)
  3. One burbon, one scotch, one beer (repeat)
  4. Highway to Hell
  5. Highway to the Danger Zone
  6. Cocaine
  7. One toke over the line, sweet jesus
  8. (Died while) Fighting for my Right to Party
  9. Tripping on a hole in paper heart
  10. Learning to fly
  11. Dancing on the Ceiling
Not Politically Correct
  1. Baby hit me one more time
  2. Hit me with your best shot
  3. Little red corvette (picture baby + matchbox car)
Situations Which, if Not Carefully Monitored, May Cause You to Die in Your Home:
  1. Celebrate good times, come on
  2. Hurts so good
  3. She's so heavy
  4. Do that to me one more time
  5. Blister in the sun
  6. Everybody hurts
Things Which will Make You Wish You had Died in Your Home:
  1. Losing my religion
  2. Shiny happy people
Most Existential way to Die in Your Home:
  1. Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin' into the future



Band Names: Ways to Die in Your Home
  1. Fine Young Cannibals
  2. Sting (saved by: The Cure)
  3. The Beatles
  4. The Rolling Stones
  5. (comic book style) Wham!
  6. The Scorpions
  7. The Cranberries
  8. AC/DC
  9. Bjork



Album Titles: Ways to Die in Your Home
  1. Jagged little pill
  2. Automatic for the people

1 comment:

The_Learninator said...

(Imported comment from last blog incarnation)

Joshua said...
Song names:
* Maxwell's Silver Hammer
* The Sky is Burning [Burning Sky?]--doesn't matter where you are, this one'll kill you :)
* Hounds of Winter
* Wolf at the Door
* Werewolves of London
* Lawyers, Guns, and Money
* Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner (if invited him over for tea)
...it's starting to look like [Random Warren Zevon Tune] works pretty well.

and, of course, band names:
* Poison (but of course!)
* Massive Attack
* Led Zeppelin (if it lands on your house)
* Def Leppard

May 30, 2007 1:02 PM
Joshua said...
I can't believe I forgot "Psycho Killer". Especially since we already have "Burning Down the House".

Also "Saturday Night Special" (song name) and ".38 Special" (band name).